My To-Do List for 2022

Take yourself out on a date in an unknown city. ✅

Wild Garden Cafe - Amethyst

Read on the beach. ✅

Listen to the crashing of waves, all night long. ✅

Ostel, Auroville

Watch the moon rise from the beach (crescent moon, even better!). ✅

Rock Beach, Pondicherry

Eavesdropping

 This is the first time I am meeting someone. Actually, this is my first date ever. I've never been on a date before.

This girl sitting across him was sheepishly smiling when she heard him. My eyes were glued onto my phone and I was anticipating my coffee; the minute I heard "date" I looked up from my phone and my eyes locked onto this guy for two seconds. My eyes widened. I took a good look at both of them. The girl sported baby bangs and wore a hoodie and tracks. The guy looked like he put on the first t-shirt he laid his eyes on, un-ironed. His hairs were messy. Both looked like they were in their mid-twenties. When we entered café and took the center seats, a guy wearing a bright red t-shirt walked in and took a two-seater table just horizontally opposite to us. A few minutes later a girl walked in and joined him. Since both our seats were in the center of the floor, our voices echoed. All the seats were occupied but nobody was really talking. It was unusually quiet.

R, who sat right beside me, was busy. I was just whiling my time away, waiting, shaking my right leg. I told R to look at them. And...I continued eavesdropping, occasionally smiling, laughing too, pretending I was looking into my phone. I told R I want to sit here and see how it is turning out. I'd be writing about this. And R did the undoable (she swiped right for me!); I panicked and we laughed hard, enough to disturb them. We got that "these girls are so weird" look from that guy.

He continued in Bengali language this time, half of it I couldn't even understand, switching to English from time to time. I listened to him sipping coffee that turned cold in no time. He then mentioned.

See we've met in this arranged marriage thing. I had told my mother that I'd be meeting the girl first. 

The girl spoke too softly and I could barely hear her. Rather she didn't speak at all. Well that was because the guy didn't let her speak. He went on and on.

See I expect my wife to help my mother in household work. There are many opportunities to work from home these days. So I'd like my would-be wife to consider this.

I was honestly disgusted by this time. The guy didn't stop to breathe and kept talking without giving an opportunity to that poor girl to voice her part. I looked at R and whispered who does that! I mean he is not letting her speak. I was studying their scenario for almost an hour. In that one hour, the girl spoke only twice. One out of the two was regarding placing their orders. By this time, I had already lost interest and even forgot that I had to go. I had to go use the restroom. Instead we set off homeward.

Backstory: Going to the restroom was the central idea of this whole scenario, and through my writing it will play out as distraction so I kept their date and my observation central! I & R wanted to use the restroom and we went to Starbucks only to find that it was quite awkwardly located. We left and decided to go to Coffee by Di Bella and there wasn't one! In my effort to distract myself, I focussed on the surrounding. We completely forgot we had to use the restroom. 

An Eerie Incident

 

Maybe he passed by and took the staircase while I was lost in my own thoughts.

I usually reach college by 10:30 a.m. when it is buzzing with people, but today it was unusually quiet when I walked in at 9.27 a.m. I walked into the office, logged in for the day and came out and stood outside the lift. It was on 8th floor. I might just take the stairs. No, let's wait. I just talked myself into taking the lift. As I was looking towards the entrance, two men walked in. I didn't notice the one on my left, but did glance at the man walking towards me. It was a brief glance at his existence: he wore a white, long-sleeved T-shirt and probably blue pants, athletic build. I wanted to avoid making eye contact, so I looked away and didn't take note of his face. This is what my brain registered, attractive physique, without even observing him. He probably walked into the office, if not, then into HD Department. The lift was probably on 6th floor when that man walked in. I was now looking at the numbers. 5...4...3...2...1...0.

I was expecting for the lift to be empty, as today was Saturday. The lift opened, and a man was standing on the left inside the lift. I didn't see his face nor I made eye contact. I walked in, pressed the 4th button and tried pressing the close button; it didn't work, so he pulled out his left hand and pressed the button for me. I saw his hand, and it took me just 30 seconds to realise this. This was the same man who just walked by me few minutes ago. The silence in the lift for those few seconds was just as eerie as my realisation because the lift did not halt on any floor. But I didn't rule out logic, he probably took the stairs and went to the first floor and then got into the lift? But when lift halts at a certain floor, the lift button blinks. It didn't blink; my eyes were glued onto the numbers. When the lift stopped, I walked into staffroom, I saw R and H sitting at their tables. I called out R and asked her if there is a way that joins the lift either from office or HD department.

"No, why, what happened". She asked looking at my confused face. I was just trying to make sense of what happened.

"Okay. Something just happened. And I don't know how to put it into words." I said. 

Both R and H shared glances. I narrated the whole incident. R described a professor, but the physical description didn't match neither with him nor with any one in the college. I sat down, took few sips of water, trying to make sense of what had just happened. I just decided if I see a man wearing white t-shirt anytime today, I'll just talk to him and ask him if he took the stairs first before taking the lift, irrespective of how rude and intrusive I would sound to him. I wanted a logical, realistic closure. But I didn't see him nor anybody else saw anyone like him today. I will not be able to recognize him if I see him again. Probably.

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I called M and asked her to meet me in the lab. As I was narrating the incident, one of the two lights that were on started flickering and the room turned dim. M screamed, and I laughed. I don't know why.

M was looking at me and her eyes widened, "Is this happening because you are telling me this? Because I have been sitting here all this while and never has it flickered even for a second."

I shrugged and all I could say was "probably".

The light turned on by itself, the minute I was done narrating the incident. 

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I maybe overthinking this scenario a bit too much, but I cannot believe how these coincidences lined up, weaving all into one eerily funny story. 😂

Just a vivid impression of a rainy day inscribed with figments of my fantasies...

same week, different day

What would you call this burning desire,

of watching the passing of dismal clouds,

losing my vision in frenzied blur of fog,

trickling down of droplets on window glass.

Day in, day out.

What would you call this dull ache,

of associating bleak skies with words,

taking notice obliviously as if a presage,

anticipating to be acknowledged and realised.

Day in, day out.

What would you call this unexpressed anguish,

of nothing that is left of us, you and I, or ever was,

misplacing everything I touch, never to be found again,

unriddling conundrums of this inevitable nothingness.

Day in, day out.

The place where I sit at work has this mundane view of sky, and the room is as good as empty every morning. I slip into poetic trance and often finding myself motivated to write. When I am away, I miss the place, the view. This poem being written on one of those days when it drizzled for hours, put away in my memory and relived days later (today). Just a vivid impression of a rainy day inscribed with figments of my fantasies...